I had a very interesting ‘ah ha’ the other day. I noticed that as I am in the process of fat loss and I reached a number on the scale – I was ecstatic, happy, felt accomplished, empowered, thin, and was proud of myself.
On the other hand, when I was gaining the weight and I got to the exact same number – I felt defeated, fat, unloved, like a failure, frustrated, etc. WHAT??? It is the same darn number. So, what makes me feel one way on the way up and different on the way down? Do I look any different each time I weighed that amount?
I am not sure I have an answer as I am working through this but I am intrigued by my opposite perspectives of this number. First off, I realized that I am emotionally tied to the scale. While most of the time, I can see it as data, I still revert into defining myself by the scale and whether I am on the way up or down.
My story (ie: lie) on the way up, was it was a protective mechanism to the toxins from my journey with parasites as well as the treatment. While this is true and I am grateful for this protection, deeper inspection revealed that I really was not congruent with my food. I was playing around and not as tight as I need to be for my sensitive body. I think it was this incongruency that especially made me not feel so good about myself.
As I work through this further, I realize that right now, I am being aware of who I am being. I am being congruent with my food, my stress, and am continuing to inspect my beliefs. I am inspecting if I am living in the past, present or future. I am happy with who I am being and realizing the influences of my environment (the scale, etc) to who I am being right now!
Happiness is my internal monitor to how things are going. Unhappiness tells me to stop, inspect my thoughts and actions and see who I am being. There really is no moment as the present and when I accept, love and forgive myself in this very moment no stories/regrets exist – only unlimited possibilities. Ahhhhh!
Peggi Ingram RN BSN
Genesis Transformation Coach
peggi@genesistransformation.com